She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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