come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He shit in the fireplace
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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