Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
