And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
