The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
