i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
