Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
