i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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