My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
