May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
