Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
