D3 body, D1 cock
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
