she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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