He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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