so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
