Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
