I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
