Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
