Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
