Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
