can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
