I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
