I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
