i was born a porn star she said
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
