Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they're like a gay fantastic four
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
