Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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