i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i will never coherently bang her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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