dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
