sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
