I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
