At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
