WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
