It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The power of my boobs compel you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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