Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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