Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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