i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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