i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
