Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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