Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
