elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
