Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
