Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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