If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
