so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
