This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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