If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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