Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
