Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
