it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
