My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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